Long-term travelers, digital nomads and travel bloggers are often suspected of running away from something. They would take the flight to travel, it says there in teasing comments. The answer to the permanent passengers sounds like discussed, because it is always the same: “I’m running away from anything. Traveling makes me happy. “I’ve never heard anything else. Some time ago, this response could have also come from me. But honestly it would not have been.
Today I admit it: I’m not only innocent of town in the last three years, but also run away. In a situation it was quite clear: In September 2013 I booked a last minute long-haul flight (usually not my style) and left prematurely a pre-paid apartment (sublease), because I could not stand myself and was ready to leave. At that time, I felt empty and lonely and was looking for the meaning in my actions. The aim of my flight was Mexico. I knew that if I’d only been there, everything would feel better. I was right.
Recently I rummaged through old emails and found out that I first wrote a few weeks after the hasty departure in the home: “. On the way it is pretty good to me, but I also know that this will be at home again differently” Already then I realized that traveling is all better – or at least acts. In this respect, the standard response of travelers also applied to me: traveling made me happy. At least for a moment.
What am running away
In fact, I was already running at the beginning of my trip around the world in the summer of 2012 before anything about it. Back then it was the anger in my company who drove me into the distance. But that was an escape that I would take over again. Since then my life has changed in every respect to the positive.
The race began with the return of my trip around the world. Long-term travelers fall at this point often in a hole, because the unique adventure is now over and the boring life threatening. You need to again deal with ordinary problems and answering questions of meaning, which they had left at home. Insofar as there was not with me. When I returned from my trip around the world, took 101 Places already gaining momentum. I could foresee that the blog has potential and I might live on.
I got first invitations for press trips, which I gladly accepted. These trips are ideal for any kind of repression, since one is entertained as participants from morning till night. Then I sat down on a month to Tallinn in Estonia. That was not a very wise decision, as it turned out, because I did not know anybody, and so the days were even quite long with me. After all, I tortured myself in this rather lonely time to the article Confessions of an introverted traveler who should be defining for 101 Places. Then I stayed a few weeks in Berlin, before I took the flight to Mexico.
Shortly before Mexico, I wrote about the shade of my freedom. I was looking for a job, for targets, for meaning. Before I had time travel always defined myself through my work. Although not much else ran together, at least this was always successful. But now there was no more demanding job. I suddenly had time. I could do and be what I wanted, but I knew what to do with me. I wondered whether people with freedom to deal at all.
In Mexico, I’ve been better again. I wrote euphorically that the issue would have the why out of the crisis of meaning me. At that time it really felt that way. I went to the question, why do I run my blogs and if I help someone with it. I convinced them that one could probably say that. The travel blog helps a few people with their travel plans. The intro blog helps introverts themselves to accept. Ultimately, I found my answer: I wanted to help people to live out their potential. Sure, nice. But now says anyone who budding nomad’s dream of eternal freedom sold. For me it was not sufficient to liberate myself permanently from questions of meaning.
I felt at that moment especially so well because I was traveling. In Mexico, it was warm, the sun was shining, I was often at sea. I had a lot of variety, which kept me busy. Spiegel Online Linked my blog. I first met other travel bloggers and slipped as more and more into the world of digital nomads. This consisted in the German-speaking countries at the time of a few people. To those who may be called as a leader in the industry today.
In the two articles about my identity crisis but I kept some. It was not just the lack of task that had burdened me. I lacked deep friendships and a partner. By the time traveling the chances rose not on both. It was maddening: At home I did not feel comfortable, because I lacked relations. Move loaded me this deficit less, but I was able to build relationships while traveling no (deep). The more I traveled, the more uncomfortable I would feel at home. Could tell I wanted to or from this dilemma anyone. According cloistered and lonely I felt on some days.
My self-esteem was not high enough to cope well with these challenges. Why would it be the will? Although I had money and freedom. But who was I? I had no hobbies and no real skills. I could not even cook a meal and nothing else provide me with my hands. I could only sit at the laptop and thus somehow make money. Is this the digital nomad dream?
Even then I understood that nothing is better just because I travel. Although I felt the road well, but I was always the same person with the same weak self-esteem and the same problems. I left them only at home, where they were waiting for me. I could not run forever – and made anyway. After Mexico, it would take another year and a half until I finished my nomadic life. As soon as I was back from America I retreated immediately to South Africa. Later I disappeared for two months in the USA, then Thailand, Istanbul and then South Africa.
After all, I was the last year for some time in my current home Leipzig. I wanted to also be viable, if I stayed in a place that had a day and not every day experienced something new. That had to be possible yet! But I could not bring long to stay. I was afraid to miss something to lose my freedom or to feel lonely.
The decisive factor for my decision per home was now deep friendship. Together we retired from our holes. We did a lot for ourselves, as we ate healthier, drove sport, more reading, writing, relaxing, strolling, experienced, time spent with friends and jumped over our shadows. In addition, we created with Healthy Habits a common heart project – the major task for which I had been looking for. In short: We tried to our own well. My self-esteem helped the on the jumps. Today I feel at four out of five days at home in my skin. This corresponds to almost a feel-good rate as when traveling. Only without the escape from the problems.
I also taught me a lot of trouble with a place to stay one in which I feel really well. Here I am at home and if I should have had a doubt as to whether it was the right decision, as this was dispelled in the last DNX. I was again going to see again the digital nomads, with whom I exchanged two years me and I met in Mexico, the USA, South Africa and Thailand. They gathered all in Berlin. It was as always beautiful. But a few days later most of them were already gone. In traveling the world, looking for a happier life than they have it at home.